8 Steps to Finding Yourself Before He arrives

The pursuit of finding the right man who can love and care for you the way you desire, and who will be by your side for the rest of your life is a longing that I believe most women still have.

This desire to belong to that special partner is part of our DNA and it’s a desire that will be with us till our death. In my experience with the few relationships that I had in the past with women I’ve notice a pattern that was a part of their way of thinking which was to find in me what they first needed to find within themselves and that was love, but not just any love it was a self-love which I had no way of giving because I myself didn’t know what that meant or had for myself.

The relationship was just a physical one which did not last for long and left a sense of bitterness and resentment in them against me. This of course didn’t make me feel good about my actions and the pain that I caused them which lead me to write this article. First and foremost no one can give you the love that you should give yourself which is self-love which no material thing or human being can give you.

Now I believe that God has place in every one of us an immeasurable amount of love for ourselves that cannot be compared to what another person can give us and when we try to find that God given love in someone else we always find ourselves disappointed, hurt, bitter, angry and isolated from everyone including ourselves.

So before you go looking outside of yourself for some true and sincere love let me make some recommendations that will increase your chances of being ready for that special partner that you desire to have a long and loving relationship with. Give yourself 100% first then pass it on.

1. Take a time out.

Before you start your day it is important that you take some quality quite time by yourself by finding a place where you can meditate, pray or just be still. You may want to play some soft relaxing music while you sit and think of all the good things that you have and how blessed and fortunate you are. Take this time to visualize yourself living your best life and feel the emotions that go with it. You are what you think.

2. Take good care of yourself.

Self-care leads to a sense of well-being. This means treating your body well by eating foods that nourish it, getting a sweat on regularly, giving yourself enough sleep and drinking plenty of water. These are simple but powerful ways of practicing self-care and raising up your own magnetic qualities to attract awesome love. Plus, when you care for yourself it shows that you love who you are, and you’ll be ready to also care for your partner when he arrives.

3. Be your own girlfriend.

Once you are clear on the feelings you desire, be your own girlfriend. Meaning, if you want to feel sexy, think of ways that you can make yourself feel sexy now. If you want to feel cherished, think of ways to cherish yourself. Buy yourself flowers, take a long bath, hit the gym, play hooky and go to the beach. Do whatever it takes to feel really good about your life right now. When you’re already feeling those feelings, you’ll attract the right partner to you.

4. Get real.

Get real with yourself and the life you want to live. Be authentic. Stop living the life you thought you’re supposed to live or someone else’s version of happiness for you. Stop putting yourself down and start building up your self-esteem. You are unique and you have unique talents, qualities and desires. Lead with your soul and explore where it’s telling you to go.

5. Tie up any loose ends.

Allow for your past to be in the past and don’t let anyone take you back there again. Heal any heartbreaks and tend to any wounds that could use some attention. Release past love by forgiving yourself and others and deciding to use the experience as fuel for growth. We often carry around a lifetime worth of pain that leaves us feeling heavy and sad. Let it go. Turn yourself from a victim into a hero who overcame their obstacles and now is living a beautiful life.

6. Tell yourself a different story.

Research has shown that it’s the stories we tell ourselves about our lives that actually shape our happiness and matter more than the actual events of our lives. Therefore, if you still feel anguish from a particularly rough breakup, change the story you tell yourself about it. For example, rather than being the poor girl who got cheated on and will never heal, make yourself the heroine who got out of a terrible situation before you married and made a big mistake. Or if you were a child of divorced parents and worry that you’re doomed to repeat the same pattern, change your story and turn yourself into the outlier of your family who will cultivate a lasting relationship. Take ownership of your life, it’s your God given duty

7. Put your affairs in order.

What areas of your life could use a little spring cleaning? Rather than hoping someone will walk into your life and save you, start saving yourself. If your finances are a disaster, take steps or get help to put them in order. If your house is a mess, start cleaning and organizing. Simplify your life. Declutter wherever possible. Move on from toxic relationships that you know aren’t serving you anymore and never settle for a man who has no respect for himself and women.

8. Be lead by your intuition.

Learn how to trust and lead with your intuition. We can tune into our intuition by getting in touch with our bodies. Think back to a time where you knew you were making a bad decision, but did it anyway. How does your body feel thinking about it? Perhaps you notice a constriction in your chest or a sickness in your stomach. On the other hand, think back to a time where you felt really good about a decision you were making. How does that feel in your body instead? Next time you’re unsure of what your intuition is trying to tell you, remember to tune into those feelings in your body. This is especially true when meeting the right partner. The feelings and the external signs will always be in line with your intuition.

When the right man (partner) comes into your life he will be ready to love and serve you just as much as you want to love and serve him.